The Spammer Awards
Updated: Mar 10, 2019
February 22, 2019
I wasn't chosen to present at the Academy Awards, so I'm presenting The Spammer Awards instead. I got a spam letter via email today, and I must say, it's a classic. Read it with tongue in cheek, but whatever you do, please DO NOT provide this contact with any information. Someone worked VERY hard on this letter, which makes me both laugh and a bit sad:
Feb 21, 2019, 9:13 PM (13 hours ago) Christopher A. Wray @WWW0090@axel.ocn.ne.jp (Notice how they didn't hide the reply email origin, which appears to be in Japan) Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday Office Hours Monday To Saturday: Director Federal Bureau on Investigation J. Edgar Hoover Building 601,4th Street, 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, (Don't you wonder about a building that has two street addresses?) NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001, USA
We hope this notification arrives meeting your good health and mind.Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago.
This meeting was scheduled and arranged by the former acting Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $10.3M) million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.for more information do get back to us.
The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the government of the states the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/, Inheritance.
we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation your outstanding contract inheritance funds of over-due payment in tone of USD $10.3M) has been credited in your favor in Suntrust Bank .
Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Suntrust Bank , accordingly as we will be monitoring all their activities with you as well as your correspondence at all levels.
NOTE: There are numerous scam emails on the internet, imposters impersonating names and images. We therefore warn our dear citizens to be very careful with any claim email you receive prior to these irregularities so that they do not fall victim to this ugly circumstance anymore.
And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming that you have a payment with them, you are to STOP further contact with them immediately in your best interest and contact the real bank (Sunrust Bank ) only where your fund is laying, with the below information:
Bank Name: Suntrust Bank U.S.A Attn: Lambert CressWell (Remittance Director) E-mail: email@example.com Department Code:85850 Contact the bank today and furnish them with this information below for processing of your payment/funds accordingly.
FULL NAME: CURRENT ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP CODE: DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:
NOTE: In your best interest, any message that does not come from the above email address should be Nullify and avoided immediately for security reasons.
Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the Suntrust Bank office immediately with the above email address and request that they attend to your payment file as directed so as to enable you receive your payment/fund accordingly. Ensure you follow all directives from Suntrust Bank as this will further help hasten up the whole payment process in regards to the transfer of your fund to you as designated.
Also have in mind that the Suntrust Bank equally has their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms.
All modalities has already been worked out before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don't have anything to worry about.
All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Suntrust Bank .
Without wasting much time, we will want you to contact them immediately with the above email address and phone number so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.
Should in case you need any more information in regards to this notification, feel free to get back to us via email so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your payment/fund as stated.
Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation.
BEST REGARDS Christopher A. Wray Director Federal Bureau on Investigation E-mail:firstname.lastname@example.org
Even More Spam Reviews
What a hoot. But in addition to this ridiculous email above, I've received four one-star spam ratings lately on one of my novels. These are from readers who did not read my novel but were teed-off by one of my blog posts that complained about reviewers who leave one-star ratings with no explanation. IMHO, they are not helping authors understand how to improve or change.
Spam ratings are in violation of Goodreads guidelines, so I have contacted Goodreads and provided each profile name of the spammers. Each of them has blocked me, perhaps thinking this prevented me from seeing their names. It is very sad to see such mean-spirited users. Life is too short to be hurtful to an aspiring author, especially about a novel one did not read.
Again, many thanks for following my blog and especially for reading and reviewing my work!